Gaslighting"That never happened", "You're imagining things" — making you doubt your own reality and memory.💬 Example: You say "You promised to call me." They say "I never said that — you always make things up." You start wondering if your memory is broken.
Love BombingOverwhelming early affection and intensity designed to create dependency — then withdrawn as control.💬 Example: Week 1 — daily flowers, "you're my soulmate", 50 texts a day. Month 3 — suddenly cold and distant, using all that effort to guilt you: "After everything I did for you..."
Guilt-Tripping"If you loved me...", "After all I've done..." — weaponising your empathy to force compliance.💬 Example: You cancel plans because you're sick. They say "Fine, I'll just be alone. I always put you first but you never do the same for me." Now you feel guilty for being ill.
StonewallingSilent treatment and refusing communication — used as punishment and emotional withdrawal.💬 Example: You try to calmly discuss a problem. They go completely silent, walk out, and don't speak to you for 3 days — no explanation, no resolution.
DARVODeny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender — flipping the script to make the abuser the victim.💬 Example: You confront them about lying. Within minutes they're in tears saying you "always attack" them. You end up apologising to them for bringing it up.
Future FakingEmpty promises about a shared future made solely to maintain emotional control.💬 Example: "We'll move in together next year, I promise." Said every single year for 4 years. Nothing ever changes, but the promise keeps you from leaving.
Blame ShiftingMaking everything your fault — they never accept responsibility for their own behaviour.💬 Example: They forgot your birthday. When you bring it up, suddenly it's about how you "never remind them of things" and how stressful their week was. They never apologise.
NeggingSubtle put-downs disguised as compliments — designed to lower your self-esteem and confidence.💬 Example: "You're actually pretty smart for someone who didn't go to uni." or "You looked so much better before you cut your hair — but you do you."
Coercive Control ⛓️A sustained pattern of domination — controlling who you see, where you go, what you spend, and what you wear. A criminal offence in many countries.💬 Example: They check your phone every night, demand your location at all times, get angry if you see friends without asking permission first, and decide what you're "allowed" to buy.
Narcissistic Abuse 👑Grandiosity, entitlement, and exploitation — you exist to serve their ego. Followed by devaluation and discard.💬 Example: You're upset and try to talk about it. Somehow the conversation turns to how YOUR feelings made THEM feel bad — and you end up comforting them instead.
Financial Abuse 💸Controlling money, sabotaging employment, creating debt — making you financially dependent so leaving feels impossible.💬 Example: They handle all money, give you a small allowance, and demand receipts for every purchase. You have no savings, no card, and no way to afford to leave.
Isolation Tactics 🔒Systematically cutting you off from friends and family so the abuser becomes your only support system.💬 Example: "Your friends are a bad influence." "Your mum never liked me." Slowly you stop seeing everyone. A year later, they're the only person you talk to.